i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
