I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
