fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
My dick has a subreddit
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
