Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
