The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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