yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
