i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
