You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
