but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
