the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
