There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
