If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
