he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
