This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
