You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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