Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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