you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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