I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
