when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
