so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I need to sanitize my soul.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize
