Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
