I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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