Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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