what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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