Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
