So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Randomize
