they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
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