Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
