But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
