I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I think i got beer on your cat.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
