Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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