there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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