So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
A bitchslap is in order.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
