u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
