If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
and she was petting her beer can
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
