So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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