Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
