It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Randomize
