I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Sex in the backyard? Check.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
