Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
