we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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