when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
