You work out of a Hotel?
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
