im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
