Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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