In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
