i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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