Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
