If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
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