Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
